Day 5 : Validation and Why We Need to Stop Chasing It
Validation is when other people confirm that you’re right, good, or acceptable. And yes, it feels good. And make you feel seen. In the short term, it can even motivate you.
But the problem is this: validation doesn’t last.
The feeling fades, and once it does, you often find yourself looking for the next hit of approval.
How validation keeps you stuck
When you depend on validation, you stop trusting yourself fully. You start looking outside for answers instead of listening to your own judgment. Decisions take longer because you wait for feedback. You explain yourself more than you need to. You second-guess choices that already felt right.
Instead of moving forward, you pause..
This is how validation slowly takes your power.
Not everyone needs to understand you
One of the biggest traps is believing that everyone needs to understand your choices. They don’t.
Explaining yourself over and over doesn’t make you clearer. Some people won’t understand you because they don’t share your values. Others won’t understand because your growth makes them uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
Let people misunderstand if they want to. What matters most is that your choices make sense to you.
Moving in silence
Moving in silence doesn’t mean hiding. It means protecting your energy.
When you stop announcing every plan, you give yourself room to grow without pressure. You don’t have to manage opinions or expectations. You move with intention instead of performance.
Some of your best decisions will be made quietly.
There is strength in deciding and standing by it.
You don’t have to defend every choice. Trust yourself, you don’t need permission to move forward.
Silence, consistency, and follow-through say more than explanations ever could.
The pros and cons of validation
Validation isn’t all bad. In small amounts, it can help.
Pros:
Encouragement from people you trust
Support during hard moments
Motivation when you’re learning something new
Cons:
Weakens self-trust when you depend on it
Keeps you waiting instead of acting
Leads to people-pleasing
Makes confidence depend on other people
Validation should support you, not control you.
Choosing self-validation
Real confidence comes from inside. It comes from knowing your values, trusting your judgment, and standing by your decisions even when no one is clapping.
When you validate yourself first, approval becomes optional. And when approval is optional, you move freely, clearly, and with purpose.
That’s where growth actually begins.
Let me leave you with this: Depending on others for validation leads to insecurity, while relying on God brings freedom (Galatians 1:10).
Love Shanaxx
Hey Shana 🤍
This really spoke to me. Sometimes we think we’re just being careful or wanting advice, but really we’re just scared to trust ourselves. This made me realise how easy it is to look to everyone else before listening to what we already know inside.
That part about validation supporting you, not controlling you… wow. Because when approval feels like something we need, we end up holding ourselves back and second-guessing things we already feel are right.
Learning to back yourself is uncomfortable, but it’s where real confidence grows. Quietly, on the inside, without anyone clapping. And that kind of growth changes everything.
Self-trust isn’t arrogance… it’s alignment. Such an important reminder. Thank you for this ✨
Hey Chan, You got it exactly! Happy your enjoying the Blog xxx